Clyde and Clem welcome new member, Tito "Action" Jermaine.

Boxcar Stanley has been kidnapped by a woman and forced to the dreaded "West Coast" to raise one of his innumerable illegitimate children. While we are sad to see him go, and yet another man captured by liberal America's desire to see men be responsible for their semen, we are very pleased to introduce our newest member and washboard enthusiast, Tito "Action" Jermaine.

Tito is the lost albino child of the Jackson family, and has no viewable criminal record. His many interests include NOT smoking meth, NOT stealing cars and NOT getting caught. We are confident that you will be pleased with this addition as we move forward to provide you with the finest entertainment options outside the Beltway.